what is it that everyone has and some pirates and thieves try to take?

Can not, will not get over these tights. I think maybe the ass being ripped out is just endearing to me. I'm not evens sure why, but these are my favorite pair of tights and I refuse to throw them away. I have a really hard time parting with articles of clothing and I feel like these tights have a lot of sentimental value. They've been through some shit but they insist on persevering. It's awkward to wear these without a pair of tights underneath but I feel like these babies have a lot of character. Most of my tights have runs and rips but none of this caliber. Originally there was a thin thong-like line that separated both cheeks, but due to excessive wear this winter I'm left with the hosiery version off assless chaps. I'm not really sure how these rips even occurred but damn. If you're ever in public with me and see me fiddling with my tights, rest assured that it's probably because my whole ass is hanging out of them.